Crynoical Loving

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in slack summer sandals
long distances you travel
away from me baby
your distance is congealing
it is condensing
is curdling
clotting
in every heart of my joy

my lungs are sparring
a cage of ribs
is snaking around oxygen
in which kindles
a perfectly round ambition for you

rousing fresh
O dazzling
carcinogen darling
do you also
miss me most when people
forget about bad teeth
and simply
laugh?

I also journeyed
across my state lately
saw the sea
with its thousand slavering tongues
day and night
it kept licking sand off the beach
under its long vacillating skin
cyan darkness resisted
white lazy yachts
from sinking in too far
antique shops ligneous
moldered all over the landscape
used china kept glistening
in their sunny vermin bellies

more than once
I felt like showing you
the red ripe nips
mosquitoes kept infusing
behind forgotten calves
the new friends I’ve made
and the oblique blue sadness
that outlines sentences I reword
to erase you from public eyes
and my own hard memory

O you
so far
rocking your own bold riff
names of new cities you drop
in letters to mutual friends
which is why I stole
the first letter of my life
your generous exclamation marks
fell in my mind like tears
new names I could not pronounce
friends you win too easily
every excited word semaphored
all that I am not

a sad surprise
has been registering its birth
in the womb of my arrogance:
how far you have managed to get
without my love

so maybe even this secrecy of mine
this cryonical loving
has gone too far
maybe it is time
to as they say move on
split space on the skin
for new scars
even though no one around me
has the courage to say
“Sorry, my bad,”
as swiftly as you did
no one smiles like you
and no one makes me drown
in existential gnosis romance
during the lifetime of just one
cup of coffee tall
no
no one
yet