Tag Archives: desi writers lounge

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Finding the center of gravity

Interesting conversation at the dinner table, today. Apparently, according to my mother, two sisters shouldn’t sleep with each other (no, not like that – head out of. Gutter. Now.) on the same bed, because of the parentheses. I said the brother-sister union is one of the usual cases of incest, and then of course, the most common one came up – father-daughter. That started a further discussion how in some shows (most notably, Law and Order: SVU) they’ve shown twisted cases of each, including mother-daughter relationships. Yes, we often talk about incest on the dinner table.

But sarcasm notwithstanding, it brought up an interesting side issue: my mother and sister feel such insane, psychotic events shouldn’t be depicted on TV for common, public viewing because it fills your mind up with things you wouldn’t think of, otherwise. I disagree. I think it’s an excellent way to create awareness – to let you know about the shit in this world – and the fact that you need to be wary of the realities of these situations, and the possibilities that they can and do happen in thousands of cases across the world. After all, if we hide them, how will we help get rid of the social depravities?

This kind of thinking has permeated through to our culture at large – hide it, subjugate the hidden truths – and yet, we turn our noses up in disgust about incidents similar to these when they happen in our vicinity. It’s hypocritical.

I have a cause, and I firmly believe in this and it’s among the reasons I write. Sure, in the beginning it was all about the story, but my recent pieces have been fueled by something else entirely.

Numb has restarted, thankfully although the style I’m writing it in is completely foreign. If I was worried about falling into the same snarkalicious one of yesterday, looks like I won’t have anything to worry about. Or well, hopefully.

So just to clear the air: I’m not one who just talks and talks about writing on different subjects, and doesn’t tackle them in an effort to better understand. I do, and I plan to continue doing it.

And if there are people out there, most notably members of my family, who think things like these shouldn’t be addressed, I’m here to say: Tough. I owe something to society, or it owes something to me. In either case, I feel it incumbent on me to write the humanity of things, even if it isn’t as pretty as we’d like to think it is. Or…well, I’ll admit: Especially then. Some members of my conservative family don’t like my tendencies on the Shi’a-Sunni-sectarian issue. If people ask what I am, I prefer to say I’m just a Muslim without classifying. Some people actually think this is a dangerous way of thinking and needs to be corrected, asap – I kid you not.

Yes, the fire of activism burns in my soul once again, alive and well. Nice to know.

As for DesiWritersLounge.net, it is my sincerest wish that it launches itself to become among the best independent desi magazines this country has to offer, gives the upcoming writers a place to flex their muscles and encourages thinking. Challenging, always – a place for independent judgments. Because if we’re just going to create another breed of intellectual slackers, we’ve failed and my vision for the site and forums is lost.

Back at the dinner table, conversation’s end found me locating the center of gravity of a fork on my finger. An appropriate end to the story, don’t you think?

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Numb

That’s the title of a story I’m hankering after. Note the word usage – “hankering” because I haven’t got anywhere yet – throws my last post into a tizzy, doesn’t it? I’ve got a nine hour work day, which comprises mostly of sitting before my laptop, doing market research and trends, and then writing about it. So at the end of the day, you’d much prefer not spending any more time with the widescreens of this world. Hypocritical, I know.

The problem isn’t with the idea – I’ve got it all nailed down – I’ve got the two leads and their lives all planned out…okay, mostly, not completely but still. And now of course, my time table’s changing after tomorrow – Friday, I’ll be reporting for work at 6.30 am. Yes, you read right. But we’re off at 2.30 pm so something needs to be said. No sleep after sehr, then eh? Worse things have happened. I’ll live.

But back to this elusive idea – the story appeals to me – it picks up on the emotional underbelly, which for anyone who has ever read my past stories, knows I love. It isn’t just the darkness that’s drawing (while simultaneously repelling) me closer each day, it’s the wealth of emotions I’ll be dealing with. And of course, the families and their protagonists are from backgrounds I understand and to a degree, can empathize with.

And after pushing away my trademark conversation dialog: dry, witty, sarcastic – I’m finding myself being drawn back. Though, let’s face it: I’m good at it. I like looking at life through unfocused lenses – it’s like looking at the world through the bottom of a glass – I like the skewed, distorted images transmitted back. That may be the reason the darkness of things so attracts me, because here’s a fact: it’s so much more fascinating to write about. How much can you write about happiness and birds chirping? The evil, dark side of our emotions are so much easier. No? Am I the only one seeing the complexities, here?

I suppose, to put it simplistically: the psychological and anthropological aspects of it are what really attract me.

I think we each have the capacity to commit something truly heinous, but the right blend of time, circumstance and the fortification of our relationships is what stops us. I also believe that the root of all evil, lies in society and the lack of understanding it affords to the lesser fortunate, and if we are to truly realize that in every walk of life, we should at least try to understand. The only way I can understand, or at least live through their lives (from my own perspective, of course – the writer’s perspective inevitably seeps in – or if it doesn’t, that’s just another thing I need to learn), is to write about it. Sure, it might not be something I know, but we often need to step out of our comfort zones to straighten the crookedness in our worlds, to get a broader experience and perspective.

Choose to be broadminded.

I’ve said time and again, that the perspective and changes my work affords me, are unparalleled and have forced me to alter my opinions and mind on things I observed with rigidity, to the surprise of family and friends. And yes, I can be torn sometimes between following what’s right and what’s expected, but that’s only human.

But I believe in justice, in finding the truth no matter how unfavorable or ungainly it might be and my journey often takes me to places (both personal and social) I wouldn’t be able to traverse otherwise. So I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, in the hopes that I will continue to find answers.

Maybe someday I’ll write those socio-religio-politico stories everyone thinks I’m in the midst of, but until then.

Now, all I need to do is move past this first line…