It’s got nothing to do with pricing – I would be more than happy to outsource to someone who gives me the impression he/she’s actually read the document – supplied his/her own suggestions and is enthusiastic for the project. But finding someone like that is incredibly rare. Not totally impossible of course, but rare. Besides I’d also like to know all the money and time I’m investing in this will pay off when it comes to our members. But people are such unpredictable, thankless and selfish creatures, don’t you think?

So I’m kicking off a new campaign: Tough Love. I want to up quality – when someone searches my name after a particularly successful run on another website – locates the Lounge and finds my work better, it’s sad. Flattering most definitely, but also completely sad. Because a lot of work’s gone into it, and we’re obviously not doing enough of a good job. But why base my opinion on the comments of one person, right? I’m not. Yeah, the truth hurts. Our traffic is down – we’re bringing people to the site but aren’t keeping their attention long enough to stay there – it’s down to one thing, and one thing alone that can attract the kind of people we’re looking for: Content. Bitchy, tough loving me has been reborn and doesn’t seem to want to leave. At least not any time soon.

I believe if you push people to be their best, they can get there. I would know. The Desi Writers have been doing it to me for the last two years, most especially when we were on Orkut, still unsure of what to say and what not to. It’s the tough love that gets you going, that gets you thinking, that makes you say: Fuck it but starts those wheels turning, nonetheless. It’s by telling them you believe in better, by saying ‘I expect something more’ that makes them push for it. It’s a constant drill – painful to watch often, and more specifically, to be a part of – to see them struggling, but knowing, inevitably that the result will be the biggest payoff ever. To both you and them.

I’m all in for giving us time to grow and all that jazz, but it’s been far too long and it’s time now. Time to take things into our own hands, instead of hoping for people to come around. Because here’s a thought: they never will. That’s just what people are. They’re lazy. Unless someone starts blowing a whistle. And you see this thing around my neck? It’s the proverbial whistle.

And it’s screaming.

All aboard?

Loneliness. As a writer, that’s something you have to get used to and something which only deepens over time. The recognition of it, is possibly the first step to true indifference. Personally, I’ve seen I only awaken to my loneliness when I’m surrounded by people I love and who undoubtedly love me (modesty is obviously not a virtue), and most acutely when I’m not writing. You know, it’s odd how we classify “writing”. For me, “writing” involves writing fiction – to truly put something creative out there – but really, this qualifies as writing just like writing in a daily journal and it’s various, various forms does. But that’s beside the point, or at least the one I’m trying to make now.

Yesterday, I went searching for how to handle writer’s loneliness (it was a particularly bad day) – I have my moments of self-doubt just like the next person. It may not look it, but I am human. Anyway, so I found a set of writer’s characteristics from this site which I’m going to list and discuss.

1. The Writer doesn’t have to like people, but the Writer must be profoundly, passionately interested in them.
2. The Writer must have an equally passionate desire to make the reader see what the Writer sees, hear what the Writer hears.
3. The Writer must be sensitive to the human condition and moved to express his/her feelings about it.
4. The Writer must have a passion for words so that phrases, sentences, and rhythms haunt him.
5. As a person the Writer must be profoundly committed to what the Writer is writing; as an artist the Writer must be detached from it as the Writer learns to recognize what is good and what is bad about his writing.
6. The Writer needs to be born this morning, and again tomorrow morning. The Writer needs to look at familiar faces as if the Writer has never seen them. The Writer should drive his car to wherever the Writer is going as if it were the first time. The Writer should look at the face of the supermarket checkout girl as if she, too, was born this morning.
7. The Writer must learn that writing is rewriting. The Writer must be able to cut away at his manuscript without quivering, to carve up his child without flinching.
8. The Writer must acquire a deep concern for details. This concern often makes the difference between a successful and an unsuccessful story or article.
9. A person must realize that writing is a daily routine, not the result of an occasional inspiration. The Writer has to find the time every day to sit down and write. Keeping a journal is one way of sitting down and writing. The beginning writer cannot use his job as an excuse for not writing. (In fact, why not use the job as an excuse for writing?)
10. The Writer must realize that only a small number of writers are able to make a living by writing. There are few compared to those who have other professions, trades, or jobs.
11. The Writer must admit, finally, that there are no excuses, that the only reason the Writer isn’t writing is because the Writer doesn’t want to. People write successfully everywhere, under all conditions and with all kinds of handicaps.
12. Occasionally the Writer will stop in anguish and tell himself that everything has been said, all the tales have been told. The Writer must remind himself that the story of Romeo and Juliet had been told by an Italian writer of novellas, but that Shakespeare told it better, and that the same plot was retold later in the form of Abie’s Irish Rose and again in West Side Story.
13. The writer must learn to live with his rejection slips, use them as scrap paper, not label them “End of the World.” The Writer can avoid many rejection slips by knowing the market.
14. The writer must learn how to handle the problem of loneliness, for writing is a lonely profession. It is one road a person must walk alone.

And that’s it. Some points, if not all, are absolutely valid and relate a lot to both the discussions that spring up on the site and this blog, but also questions I’ve been asked personally relating to writing.

On the set of links to the side, you’ll notice one for Orwell’s essay ‘Why I Write’, where he’s discussed that his writing was better when fueled by a purpose, usually political and if you ever pick up any of his books, in particular 1984, you’ll notice a warning resonating so clearly, made all the more important with America’s “Big Brotherish” tactics. So there’s #3 proved.

Points 1-3 I agree with, because you don’t have to like people to write about them, but to do it successfully you have to be interested in human nature. And really, we are the most fascinating creatures. Why do you think soap operas never die? Hell, we’ve coined a new phrase – “teen soap operas”. 90210, anyone? That the actors playing teens were in their thirties is entirely beside the point.

What is writing without words? But you don’t necessarily need to be haunted by them to be a successful writer – true, nearly every writer I know has been plagued by getting the right word – I know I have. Hitting the nail on the head can get me out of bed, inches before falling asleep, it is that incumbent. But it isn’t a must.

#7 – rewriting. I think a lot of today’s would-be authors don’t realize the severe importance of the rewritten word. When you first start out, you’re just getting the idea straight, putting it to paper is the result of all the events, emotions and conversations you’ve been seeing in your mind. It’s not a thinking story – it’s a driven story, by all means – but it isn’t in the right place at the right time. It needs to be hacked into, which explains #8 as well.

#s 9-11, 13 I will discuss in my next post, with a very illustrative and I believe, absolutely correct example and citation.

On to #12 – everything worth writing has already been written – has been a subject of great interest at the forums. It’s true: Everything worth writing has been written, but and here’s the clincher, contrary to the quote, I have my own (and it’s an old one): it isn’t the tale, but he who tells it. A story isn’t different because it’s been done before, but because I, Maryam Piracha, the Writer am writing it with my own perceptions, opinions and views. And every person, in particular every writer, sees things at a different angle, and it’s that for which writing that particular story becomes absolutely necessary.

Finally, #14 – writing is by far the loneliest profession you’ll ever encounter. Why? This blog provides an insightful look into the situation. Is it because nobody understands? From personal experience, that’s what it was like for me, until the desi writers. But even then, even when you have the community, the feeling never truly deserts you. At the end of the day, you need to seclude yourself, to write alone, unhindered and if you can’t handle it, you’re just not cut out for the job at all.

Will it break you? Absolutely. Will you survive? That’s up to you.

So I’ve stretched the budget, won’t be enjoying the first three months of my pay, and have eliminated one key feature from the project at large. It happens, right? And besides, it’s all for the greater good.

One of the great things about Joomla – an open source content management system (CMS) – is that you can add a host of things to it, later. Of course, I’m not entirely sure how I’d go about adding a gallery that would also merge with the forums, but hey! It’s not terribly important to have it managed in such a way that it incorporates both, right? Maybe we should stick to its traditional method and lump it with the forums. After all, if we must have a gallery, that’s where it should be. Alternatively, it could always be lumped in with the CMS, because once this is done, each component of the site will be meshed with the other and they’ll all perform together.

The important thing is that the core features not be messed around with – the gallery was a last minute addition – if the podium, the bulletin board, the e-zine and the forums are all there, that makes for one great looking website. Not to mention, if they all work together. A true place to provide intellectual debates, creative discussions and writing. To put our vision out there – to give the upcoming desi literati a chance to really shine – that’s all I want, really.

The chance to be involved in our book club discussion, keep abreast of all that’s happening on the Lounge via newsletters etc. Really “step up to the mat” and hopefully “set the world on fire” with the podium, “unleash your creativity” with the bulletin board (or well, maybe not creativity as informational skills) and of course, “write, experiment and be heard” on the forums and e-zine. The gallery really doesn’t fit into the grand scheme of things, does it?

Now all I can hope for is that my budget doesn’t exceed itself too much – really I thought it’d all be covered in my mental estimate – and it’s already doubled.

But it’d be worth it, that much I know and this…all this? It’s a little thing I like to call: investing in your dreams.

I’ll go out on a limb here, and ask what you think but don’t expect me to get all weepy when you say nothing. I’m on the clock here, as it is.

New discussion: what makes a writer good or bad?

To be honest, I think the classification shouldn’t exist. While it’s true, that some writers are naturally more gifted than others, I think a lot of it stems from how much you’re willing to put in, and how much you’re willing to go running after it.

If publication is the measure of being ‘good’ or ‘bad’, then there’s the problem right there. There are a lot of writers out there because of time and circumstance just haven’t been discovered, and probably, in most instances never will. Does that mean they aren’t ‘good’? I don’t think so.

A lot of good writers are rejected by publishers, not because their work isn’t good – it could be the best ever – but a lot depends on its perception, and the timing, and on whether it’s going to be received well by a rapidly undemocratic audience.

But, and I’m going out on a limb here, I’d say that a lot of it depends on the individual’s own persistence.

And sure, contacts matter, especially in the publishing world. But at the end of the day, it’s just down to one thing: how does the work sit with the publisher? Because if it doesn’t sit with his/her appetite, it’s not going to stand a chance at publication, unless you self-publish and do you really want to go down that path? There’s nothing wrong with it of course – a lot of people self-publish – but although it’s not a statement, it’s the rule of thumb: self-publication is the mark of a failed author, who couldn’t be published through traditional means. So if you want to keep your respect, you might want to think twice about it.

Of course, there are some glaringly bad writers out there…but then, they’re the ones who get others to write their books for them! We should thank the ghostwriters of the world, they ease our palette just a little, and really, it’s the wee bit that counts.

Will write more on this, later.

I’d ask you to discuss this in the comments section, but really, I know better by now. The audience of this blog, like its corresponding site, is largely silent. Oh well. I’ve been living with the silent treatment for a little more than a year now.

People. They’re all content with status quo – there is no longing to awaken. To do. To cause action, how can you be a writer without a cause?

In that vein, is Numb being written with a cause? Is there some social need driving it? My stories are worthless without a cause. They must exist for something, so to speak.

That characters (in N) are empty; almost soulless creatures. The purpose – the cause, if you will – is to bring forth the darkness in man. But it might not answer any questions, other than ‘are we prepared to face the darkness in us’ with the answer: ‘no’. I believe the best we can do, is subjugate it, instead of really looking at it in the face.

A writer must write, after all, because he’s got something to say and not the other way around.

The activist in me is back, just when I was wondering where she’d disappeared off to. But we all need our moments of reprieve, sometimes.

I need to move past this wordless state. I must.

Contrary to one of my earlier posts, I’m pondering whether a strange variation of combined writer’s block has hit the forums collectively, over at the ‘Lounge. It seems every which way I turn, someone’s mourning the absence of words. Words. It’s all about words, isn’t it?

Mine is a little more sinister: fear. And somewhere underneath it all, is the feeling I can’t get away from: I am undeserving because I did the one thing I thought I’d never to – push it away – and now, it seems I’m terrified of calling it back. At the end of the day, I’ve defined myself through my work, and if I’m not a writer than who the hell am I?

Oh…and this just in. We’ve got a serious contribution request from a Daily Times reporter – just checked my inbox. Is that neat, or what? Seems like we’re really kicking things off. Hinteresting, so very hinteresting, indeed.

Things seem to be looking up for the Lounge. It’s been a long time coming, but we’re getting somewhere. The only way to move is forward, after all.

Yes, this just lifted me from my writer’s doldrums. How heavenly.

It also looks like I’ll be starting the podcasts after all, and probably on my own. How strange that the first voice people will hear will be mine, representing DesiWritersLounge.net. I find that decidedly odd. However, it’s all in the name of progress after all.

Here’s to moving forward!

Just saw Misbah-ul-haq’s final bow at the ICC 20/20 World Cup – poor man – no idea what he was thinking, though. 6 runs from 4 balls. We were so there, before he took that poor risk and bam! Out. Caught from behind. Oh sadness, sadness, sadness.

We can be happy for one thing, however: he singlehandedly turned the match around. Nerves of steel, the commentators said. Well, those nerves had to run out at some point, and sure it was terrible timing, but at least we didn’t lose in the humiliating way we could’ve. So there are things to be pleased about.

That, and the realization that whatever the interim period, cricket remains our religion, where sects and the various divisions play no role whatsoever. It’s amazing that a sport can bring people together like that.

In other news, I feel I’ve done my fellow desi authors a disservice by claiming that their work isn’t as minded as it should be, and although I remain adamant in my opinion that it needs to tackle more mainstream dialog to make a greater impact, the work they have done shouldn’t be ignored. After all, maybe it’s important for us to remember the time of Zia and the East/West Pakistan shift and all the hatred that erupted in those times. That the Land of the Pure was inevitably born from a whole lotta blood. Sure, it doesn’t deal with the present, but hey! It’s a great way of giving us some measure of closure on the past, right? Right.

In that vein, Trespassing wasn’t an altogether bad novel dealing more along the contemporary lines of the Gulf War’s impact on the Pakistani population’s thought process. ‘Twasn’t bad, as fictional desi analyses go. At least, we’ve got mainstream English writers, right?

But enough of this. We need more, damn it and subjects that haven’t been touched on, or that people have been too afraid to talk about. There’s so much to address – our country’s got stories sitting in its veins – good Lord, even the shit it pours out’s got a story to tell. Brilliant, eh? The multicultural, multi faceted, multi-colored society of ours needs to be addressed in its fullest capacity, and why must we, by definition write only about one specific city may I ask? To embrace the country, is to embrace it in full, to live it and I think that’s one of the things that makes Islamabad a great place to live in – you’re sort of removed from the inbuilt narcissisms of other cities – you make impressions on a more open-minded scale, less afraid so to speak, to understand. Of course, this could just be for a subset of people – the same subset that exist in limited minorities in any city of this country of ours. So maybe I’m just babbling? Maybe. It’s always a possibility. One of the fundamental things about being a desi writer, is the capacity to babble, and to babble with conviction.

In other news, we’ve got a little “add-to” story running up on the E-zine forum, which, if all turns out well, we’ll incorporate as a combined story effort by several of our members. The history of this lies in the original Internet Kahani begun by one of our moderators, while still at Orkut, in fact among its early and formative days. She began it and asked each of us to contribute a little bit to it, the next post starting off from where the last ended and though it began by a man being chased in the dark, it ended with the man having somehow made it into the desert, with a snake for a companion until finally being bitten by a vampire and being condemned to the undead! It was a great effort by each of us bringing to light the diversity of our skills and styles, and a story rich in both description and imagination was conceived within the few short weeks that it ran. In an effort to bring back that sort of imaginative team work, I’ve restarted it obviously with a different storyline.

If you’re interested to read it, unfortunately it isn’t public yet, so you can either wait for December, or you can join us and contribute. It’s a fun little exercise.

Anyway, Numb seems languishing in its hole somewhere and if I wait for long enough, it’ll disappear from my conscience altogether. But that mustn’t happen.

Wish me luck – I may need it.

Today’s Magazine (Dawn) had a plethora of articles about the budding cafe ‘culture’ in our dear Land of the Pure – I counted four, which is actually pretty sad because all of them were similar – “Down Memory Lane”, “Eat, drink and be merry”, “The lost kulcha gali” (why can’t we do something instead of complaining about it, is the bigger question), and “Smell the coffee, please” which I must take offense against – the writer’s need to appear witty was nearly as bad as the people she wrote about. The whole pot calling kettle black and all.

It’s as if they all collectively decided to tackle this insane topic of discussion, which must have been written to death for the past two-three years when the houses first started mushrooming in the three cities. Point to note: Islamabad’s growth hasn’t been mentioned in either of the articles – hmph, typical. Usually, when Dawn presents a case, it’s a for-against thing consisting of one article for each, not this insane idea of 2 for 2. Some respect for the readers here, please! Sheesh. You’d think all they were worried about was selling copies.

I believe writers are thinkers, and to be a writer you must, in some part at least, be a thinker, be the person willing to defy and challenge the conglomerate rules that bind the rest of society. To awaken, to change. Not sit back and write about idiotic things like the cafe culture. You have a problem with it? Well, you obviously do so let’s stick to the rhetoric here, shall we? Do something about it. Don’t tell me, show me, damn it! I’m tired of the constant whining and bemoaning of what the coffee “culture” (or lack thereof I should say) has infused into this country. If you’re bemoaning the loss of doodh-patti, advocate for its return and I mean, beyond writing about it in Pakistan’s third English language newspaper. Arise, arise! Move people to action. Constant criticism and berating never did anything except give the rebels further cause to rebel. Come on, people. A little creativity here.

You want forums for literary endeavors and lack them in coffee houses? Fine, that’s perfectly acceptable, but then create those forums. Show you do care.

I know that the whole literary conversion thing is slow, but hey! At least I’m doing something about it – I’m running that website – bringing out a quarterly ezine for the amateur and budding writers of tomorrow, in the hopes of creating more awareness. So what are you bringing to the table aside from those nags and moans for yesteryear? Because if that’s all, the door’s that little tiny thing in the corner.

Don’t let me stop you.

I guess you have to ask yourselves one question: “are we, the flag bearers of the grand Past whipped by the coffee culture?” Because if your answer is no, I beg to differ.