The awesome @monazzilla (she prefers to remain anonymous) started the #ModernShakespeare on Twitter and was happy to write some verses for us for Literary Parody Week.  According to her, Shakespeare in this century would have so much say about anything and everything, he won’t even.

 

To write, perchance to think – ay, there’s the idea,

for in this #ModernShakespeare hashtag

is what words may come

 

On health and fitness

God has given you one chin,

and you make yourself another.

 

Tremble, thou wretch,

That hast within thy sandwich

Smothered o’ cream cheese

 

Thou hast no figure nor no shape

Which care draws in women;

Therefore thou sleep’st not so sound.

 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely & temperate.

So go to the kitchen if you may.

And make me a salad plate

 

On men & women

 

Wherefore art thou Romeo?

My GPS seems to be faulty, and you didn’t answer my calls too…

 

Women are such stuff as dreams are made on,

and our little life Is rounded with a creep.

 

Bruh…it’s like, you speak an infinite deal of nothing, man.

 

Our credit cards are traitors

and make us lose the resolve we oft

might make by avoiding to go shopping.

 

Let me not to the marriage of young buds.

Love is not love which alters when she cannot make a gol roti.

 

On technology

What light through yonder Nokia breaks?

It is the flashlight, and your iPhone screen is nothing.

 

On Nutella

 

I do love my sandwich, good with a spread more o’ Nutella,

more peanut butter and profound, than mine own life.

 

I hold the tummy but as a vessel,

where every food must play a part,

And mine food is a spoonful o’ nutella

 

These savory delights have glorious ends

And they die, like Nutella & peanut butter

Which, as they kiss, consume you

 

Share your spin on #ModernShakespeare with us in the comments!